Then came along a nineteen year-old, who was desperately trying to be rid of her possessive girlfriend. She told me she is innately straight, and that she only wants to date men from now on, because she is already so driven up the wall by her girlfriend. And yes, she too watches ‘The L-Word’. I found out too, that all her friends, mostly straight girls are all fans of ‘The L-Word’. I asked since she is innately straight, then why kiss girls in clubs and get attached to a woman? She said if she doesn’t explore her sexuality now, she couldn’t jolly well wait till after she is married right? I couldn’t dispute that as I stared at her with a kind of dumbfounded approval.
A few weeks later, I was at a party, and sat beside this girl, also from the Gen Y cohort. She sat really close to me, stroked my hair, and was in general intimate. Not being used to the intimacy because of my orientation, I pondered if it was just a sort of girly intimacy or more than that. Of course I did not think she was trying to hit on me, but later on she revealed she has a boyfriend, and then teasingly said I did not stand a chance.
Confounded by that remark, I realised subconsciously I did think she was flirting with me even though I tried not to think along that line. Then it hit me; am I the conservative oldie? Or is the younger generation just more flippant about such issues?
I just couldn’t help drawing the experiences I had while growing up. Fine, I know people had been gay and bisexual from antiquity all right? But hey, you’ve got to agree with me, coming from an Asian background does make this sort of an issue a taboo okay?
I remember how most of my friends whom I suspected were gay and lesbian did not openly talk about this. And like me, they took time and courage to come out. They also analysed a lot about whether homosexuality is right or wrong, and whether this was just a phase. I don’t think we thought so openly about going out there to find out if we are bisexual or gay.
Coming home from that party I sat down and thought about how time has indeed caught up with me. And that I should abandon my rigid thinking about how people are defined by their behaviour and the way they communicate. In fact, it is hard to define sometimes what sexuality is, not to mention the differences between the Gen X and the Gen Y generation isn’t it?
Comments
Mier said,
April 3, 2006 at 5:01 pm
Are you trying to say that the Gen Y peeps are… more unreserved at flirting, self-exploration? And behavior is thus no longer imbued with as much meaning as it used to?
I think that gives people more room to try out new things. Might set up a few susceptible people for heartaches… but hey, we are all in the new age and we play by new rules! …Even Gen X peeps.
Okie… Shoot me.
Pure ego said,
April 3, 2006 at 8:35 pm
Haha… Nothing to shoot. I agree you are right, I am just a conservative Gen-X :)
Amajor_resonance said,
April 3, 2006 at 9:12 pm
Hey I was born in the 80s. And guess what? I never watched The L Word before. I never flirted with anyone before. (Ok I better stop before I embarrass myself.)
I think this is not unique to the LBGT community as well, we always look at the youngsters and shake our heads, lamenting what is the world coming to. I’m sure our parents felt that way when they looked at us too.
No doubt, it is hard to balance between being open-minded and yet stand by your principles. But as long you gave it some thought and you decide that you are not approving of certain behaviours, so be it. Even you think that you are being conservative, there is nothing wrong in being conservative. =)
Mier said,
April 3, 2006 at 10:19 pm
I guess at the end of the day, our eyes are just opened to different sorts of people. Being conservative is alright in itself- we all flock to crowds that have compatible values or are amicable to our values.
Being open would just give us less heart-attacks. It also motivates us to delve deeper than the superficial… coz you never know what it really is until you do so. Doesn’t that make life more exciting? eheh. Like in the past, just a faint smile, and you can almost be sure she likes you. But now, it might just be a friendly greeting… you would have to chat her up, wait and observe her to be more certain.
che said,
April 4, 2006 at 4:14 pm
you’re not alone, i’m 18 and i still have yet to watch a single episode of the l word. but i think that its the gen-y that’s flippant about sexuality these days. my friend got dumped by a girl who has sexual relationships with guys and my friend is dating a girl who was attached to a guy. sometimes like you, i really do not know what to make out of issues like that.
Mint said,
April 5, 2006 at 10:20 am
I am a Gen-Y who havn’t watch the L word too!
I feel that it is a kind of a norm to perceive the later generations as a worse off cohort. Personally, I think Gen Z (if this is the term for pple born in the 90s) is a bunch who lack respect for others and self-centered. But, that is how the earlier generations view my generation too.
As time progresses, standards also change. My mum never fail to complain when she heard the adjective ‘chio’. To her, ‘chio’ is not pretty, ‘chio’ is ah lian-ish.
pure ego said,
April 5, 2006 at 11:53 am
Hey Mint,
Haha… I agree with you. But I guess I don’t generally feel the later generation is a worse off cohort. I do think the younger generation are more aware of things, more tech savvy and know how to make use of situations more to their advantage than my own generation!
I think there is another name of the generation born in the 1990s. Anyone here knows?
pure ego said,
April 5, 2006 at 11:53 am
Hey Mint,
Haha… I agree with you. But I guess I don’t generally feel the later generation is a worse off cohort. I do think the younger generation are more aware of things, more tech savvy and know how to make use of situations more to their advantage than my own generation!
I think there is another name of the generation born in the 1990s. Anyone here knows?
smile said,
April 5, 2006 at 3:54 pm
good communication is the way to deveop stable and long-lasting r’ship.
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