The Crush Effect may not send your relationship into the dumps. Many a times, such feelings are dubbed ephemeral-and indeed many of them are- serving the purpose adding a dash of flavour to banal routines. That sudden rush of blood when you spot her from afar… you can feel your heart throbbing; that burst of excitement of seeing her at a later time in the day… a flush of happiness; that impulsive bagging of a new piece of clothing because of a friendly coffee-date in the week. It gives you an extra swing in your walk…
But the Crush Effect… can be deleterious.
It is interesting how two persons can take starkly different experiences from the exact same incident. When a person is stirred by the Crush Effect, salience is assigned to selective nuances that otherwise would not have… while the other party, who might not be feeling the same chemistry, is left baffled.
“She sent me an sms… which shows that she’s thinking of me… perhaps she is…”
“She said it’s her pleasure to provide company… can it be…”
“She seeks me out in the crowd to say hi… does it show that i am important to her?”
“Look at the way she smiles at me… it must be something…”
“She allows me to hold her stuff… maybe…”
Things taken out of context…
So potent.. so loud… and so misleading.
For this reason, give your friends’ related experience a big discount. For what you hear is what she takes away… it is not objective.
Ever heard of the confirming bias?
When a person believes that another likes her, happenings that agree with this would be salient and thus processed. Happenings that refute it would be discarded.
The outcome?
An intensification of the original hypothesis..
“She is darn infatuated with me!!!”
The Crush Effect…
The fuzzy feeling burning within the heart.
… You might want to keep a rein on it.
Comments
August 25, 2006 at 10:20 pm
Er… the crush thing is not confined to lesbians. Trust me.
peggy said,
August 26, 2006 at 2:25 pm
I find myself laughing heartily as i read your article…. such astute observations of the crush effect….enjoyed reading it !! : )
mint said,
August 26, 2006 at 5:51 pm
This entry surely brings back alot of memories to many.
victoriasecret said,
August 29, 2006 at 1:08 am
hmm… no wonder i can like several ppl at the same time.
RSS feed for comments to this post