The Age Divide

Being born in the 1970s, I grew up with a certain set of values and a way of seeing the world shaped by my upbringing, culture, and influenced by the friends I am surrounded. In my point of view, I am considered open-minded to a lot of things. I mean come on, I am part of the Gen-X; we are the cultural liberators and innovators! We crave and are open to freedom and are not chained to the stringent values and circumstances that our baby boomers parents were subjected.

Not to mention having come a long way to being more comfortable with my sexuality, and not flinching from the countless accounts of luscious love affairs which I have heard in the community.

But I forgot about the generation Y, a group of people whom I realise has grown up and will very soon take over what my generation has carved out for them. And recently, encounters with the generation Y has left me rather flabbergasted, that I might after all be a conservative oldie! GASPS!

First up, I must confess- Yes, I have not watched ‘The L-Word’. Somehow that confession makes it feel as if it is a mortal sin for a gay person not to have caught the series in which the whole community has been raving on about.

So I met this rocker chick in her early twenties, who told me she watched ‘The L-Word’. She empathised with most of the characters in the series and she even wrote a song on what one of the characters was feeling in the show. In my mind, I thought to myself, ‘Is she gay?’ Don’t ask me why I never clarified with her.

Then came along a nineteen year-old, who was desperately trying to be rid of her possessive girlfriend. She told me she is innately straight, and that she only wants to date men from now on, because she is already so driven up the wall by her girlfriend. And yes, she too watches ‘The L-Word’. I found out too, that all her friends, mostly straight girls are all fans of ‘The L-Word’. I asked since she is innately straight, then why kiss girls in clubs and get attached to a woman? She said if she doesn’t explore her sexuality now, she couldn’t jolly well wait till after she is married right? I couldn’t dispute that as I stared at her with a kind of dumbfounded approval.

A few weeks later, I was at a party, and sat beside this girl, also from the Gen Y cohort. She sat really close to me, stroked my hair, and was in general intimate. Not being used to the intimacy because of my orientation, I pondered if it was just a sort of girly intimacy or more than that. Of course I did not think she was trying to hit on me, but later on she revealed she has a boyfriend, and then teasingly said I did not stand a chance.

Confounded by that remark, I realised subconsciously I did think she was flirting with me even though I tried not to think along that line. Then it hit me; am I the conservative oldie? Or is the younger generation just more flippant about such issues?

I just couldn’t help drawing the experiences I had while growing up. Fine, I know people had been gay and bisexual from antiquity all right? But hey, you’ve got to agree with me, coming from an Asian background does make this sort of an issue a taboo okay?

I remember how most of my friends whom I suspected were gay and lesbian did not openly talk about this. And like me, they took time and courage to come out. They also analysed a lot about whether homosexuality is right or wrong, and whether this was just a phase. I don’t think we thought so openly about going out there to find out if we are bisexual or gay.

Coming home from that party I sat down and thought about how time has indeed caught up with me. And that I should abandon my rigid thinking about how people are defined by their behaviour and the way they communicate. In fact, it is hard to define sometimes what sexuality is, not to mention the differences between the Gen X and the Gen Y generation isn’t it?