This begins a column on Relationships by moonflower.

Enters Lav, a masculine lesbian student in her twenties. Lav and her girlfriend had been together for a few months when she decided to tell her of her sexual past. Lav had a relationship, on and off, with a married man many years her senior. The relationship was a one-way sexual affair and never proceeded to intercourse. Lav had decided to break away from this clandestine relationship and was successfully faithful with her girlfriend. Lav’s girlfriend received the news with disbelief and the relationship descended rapidly into disintegration.

Is honesty always the best policy?

What should we come clean about?
What should be left buried six feet under?

In considering these questions, “consequences” is the word. If the issue is discussed or remains untold, can this issue directly or indirectly affect you or your partner adversely in time to come?

Some issues are best laid on the table. Presenting your children as your niece or nephew is a big no-no. Concealing health problems such as your doctor’s report telling you that you are likely to be dead in 10 years, a nearing two-year stint in another continent, or a psychopath-ex on your tracks with near death escapes for weeks… would be irresponsible to say the least.

The Nominations are now closed, and Voting can officially begin! We were as surprised as you when the nominations came up, but let’s just say that queer women and straight men have completely different tastes. Gone are the young stick-thin bikini girls, and in place, genuine women of substance dominate the list. We have playwrights, directors, actors, businesswomen, politicians, poets and more, and our list comprises a much wider age group.

And here, in order of no merit, are the nominees. Link to voting can be found after the list. Voting will be closed in two weeks.

Pamela Oei

Pam Oei’s sway over queer women is undefinable and impossible to express in words. The least we can come up with while drooling over her, is her amazing acting skills, her strong independent personality, her comedic genius, her beauty… oh just forget it and continue drooling already.

Vernetta Lopez

Why do we love V Lo? It is not just that she’s got a cute dykey haircut that she pulls off better than most dykes, or her mixed-ethnicity beauty… she’s a great comedic actress, a DJ, an independent businesswoman with multiple successful ventures (including a wedding planner), and to top it all off, she appeared as a lesbian in The Leap Years. We all hope to have our wedding planned by her, someday.

Janice Koh

Move over, Linda Liao… Janice Koh was the woman who caught the collective queer female eye when she played a (somewhat dykey looking) demanding Advertising Executive on Chase. And with her subsequent brilliant performance in Hitting on Women as the vulnerable lesbian recovering from an abusive relationship, cemented her status as a lesbian icon forever. Her toned arms (and legs, and abs and everything else) make us all want to sign up for Yoga classes too.

Yeo Yann Yann

Besides being a leading actress in Singapore Theatre, and also with movies like Singapore Dreaming and 881 under her belt, Yann Yann is also a certified cunninglinguist(not that kind, you perv) – in addition to being flawless in English and Mandarin, she can speak several dialects and Malay.

Glenda Chong

Glenda is perhaps one of the few reasons queer women would want to watch the depressing news on TV. Her smile, combined with her somewhat dykey vibes, takes the edge off the news about tsunamis and rising prices.

Ovidia Yu

Ovidia Yu is the living breathing proof that older women can be sexy too, and what’s even sexier than that, is being an out lesbian playwright, her latest contribution to the community being Hitting (on) Women. Did we mention she does Yoga to get that sexy body too?

Jasmine Seah

A hot poet – what more can you ask for? When Jasmine burst on to the queer female consciousness at Contradiction (an Indignation 2007 event) with her sweet, romantic poetry, what was louder than the applause was the sounds of the collective lesbian heart melting to the ground.

Sylvia Lim

Oh, where do we start with Sylvia Lim, who is not only one of the few women in politics, but also one of the few opposition politicians. Sylvia mesmerises us all with her guts to stand up to the ruling party, as well as her powerful performance in parliament as a NCMP. Did we mention she used to be a policewoman?

Suzanne Jung Ki Eng

Suzanne, the lovely Korean beauty in Primetime Morning lights up our mornings in more than one way, with her lovely smile and demeanour. We are pretty sure half our readers want to take her home and serve her tea – and we just heard a “Ramen” to that.

Jade Seah

Completely self-explanatory, really. Jade Seah simply rocks that somewhat dykey outfit, and makes us all want to head out to the beach for some sporty fun (preferably with her).

Eleanor Wong

Eleanor takes a special spot in the collective lesbian heart, being an out lesbian playwright and writing kick-ass plays like the lesbian lawyer trilogy and The Campaign to Confer the Public Star on JBJ. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg… when she’s not being a brilliant lawyer, she is coaching students in the ways to become a brilliant lawyer., and making wearing black top and blue jeans every single day look sexy. Oh go ahead and swoon over the sizzling combination of looks and brains already.

Tanya Chua

Singer. Acoustic Guitar. That outfit. Need we say more?

Michelle Chia

Michelle Chia is the hottest new thing on local TV, and just looking at her, there is not much doubt why she is the newest hot thing for us either. Smart, sexy, charming and a good actress to boot. What else can anyone ask for?

Catherine Lim

Dr Catherine Lim is perhaps one of the most awesome Singaporean women alive today. In addition to writing numerous provocative fiction books harshly illuminating the traditional Chinese culture, she is also one of the few people to go up against the Singapore government publicly and (metaphorically) live to tell the tale. We are pretty sure many of our readers want to be her Bondmaid forever.

Stefanie Sun

Stefanie Sun is one of the few people who put Singapore on the map, with her success in the music industry. And of course, her androgynous, spunky look just endears her to queer female fans.

Tan Pin Pin

Pin Pin is one of few female film-makers in the male-dominated industry, and of course, her handsome androgynous looks just endear themselves to queer female fans.

Olivia Lum

Olivia Lum is the founder, group chief executive officer, and president of the Singapore-based Hyflux Group, and ranked one of Singapore’s 40 Richest. Now, if achieving all that in a male-dominated world doesn’t attract our attention, we definitely believe that she brings out the sugar baby in all of us.

Rebecca Tan

It is not just that Rebecca is all girl. With her Pan-Asian heritage and perfect features, there is not much of a question why we all like to keep looking at Rebecca Tan. In fact, we expect the traffic on this page to stop right at this photograph.

Loretta Chen

If openly queer female playwrights are rare, even rarer are openly queer female directors. Not only does Loretta Chen pack a directorial punch, she is also a great actress, and to top it all off, is doing a PhD on lesbian theatre. Brains, talent and looks? Nom nom nom…

Denise Keller

Whether she is living it up with Dick Lee or breaking men’s hearts on TV, Denise Keller is definitely easy on the eyes, and more than charming.

Beatrice Chia

There are simply no words to describe the overpowering charm of Beatrice.� She is a force of nature in her own right, a trail blazer for women directors and producers, and a most accomplished and trained actress. We love not just her beauty, but her free and daring attitude towards everything, especially sex and sexuality. Beatrice is indeed a woman’s woman.

Click on the image below to vote for your favourite celebs now!

Coming at you a little late this week, we present to you, pain for love, and ultimate twists.

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila II

This week, Tila challenges the contestants to prove their love for her through getting a tattoo, a piercing, walking on broken glass or sitting in the electric chair. And so they did… All the contestants, very smartly, avoided getting Tila’s name tattooed on them, because in Kristy’s words, anytime that happens, it is a jinx (right on, Kristy). Kristy got a discreet star tattoo that matched Tila’s (once again, very smart), saving on thousands of dollars on tattoo-removal if she ever gets kicked off the show. Jay and Bo got (inadvertently) matching shot-glass tattoos, and George chose the fake broken-glass, which apparently hurt him in ways that did not hurt Tila’s feet. Lisa chose the electric chair – tip to the ladies… you’ve got to keep a woman who’d sit in the electric chair for you. Britney got a stomach piercing, despite supposedly being afraid of needles (er, so the piercing in your lower lip and eyebrow were made by something else?).

Lisa, however, messed up the date later with Tila by running off her mouth, and still keeping her guards up, and refusing to let herself fall. Realising she made a mistake, she kicked everyone’s ass later in the second challenge and won the bedroom date with Tila, where she told Tila that “love was a strong word”. Now, I don’t see anything unreasonable about that… if anything, Tila is too used to people falling in lust/love with her immediately, and 7 weeks on a TV show is not really the best recipe for true love. And of course, there is the fact that Lisa and her are, in her words, a rollercoaster ride. Quite frankly, their courtship is the most realistic one on the show, the preliminaries of a very passionate, intense relationship.

But it was not to be. Tila chose Britney, who was “slow and steady”, over Lisa, at elimination, getting rid of a very bitter George in the process. And she kept Jay, which, once again, makes me go “huh?!”. Whenever they kiss, I have to turn away from the screen and puke.

With Lisa gone, my bets are on Kristy and Bo making the final two – but we’ll know, when Tila visits their hometowns next week, and decides who is best for her!

This begins a new column on Sayoni Speak, Letters to Ling. Facing a problem with your life, your sexuality, relationship, family et cetera? Write in to our advice columnist, Ling, with your problem. All emails are confidential and your anonymity will be preserved.

Dear Ling,

I am living with my girlfriend of three years. We’re really in love, and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together… except for the fact that there is this really cute co-worker who I am really physically attracted to, and I really can’t help it. I don’t love my girlfriend any less, she’s still the love of my life, and everything is fine in our sex life. So I don’t understand why I am so attracted to her, and it is very distracting at work, and I feel really guilty about thinking of someone else at all. I am terrified my girlfriend will find out and it is going to ruin our relationship, even though I’ve done nothing with the other girl, who happens to be gay as well.

What do I do?”

Feeling Guilty

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