News and Opinions

on books and being gay

Written by jin on . Posted in Emotional & Physical Wellness

Taking the MRT is good for my reading habit. I've finished 3 books in the past 1.5 months.

The most recent book was "They F*** You Up: How To Survive Family Life" by Oliver James. It is about how the first 6 years of our life are very important. The way we were cared for as infants and children shapes the majority of our personality, psychology and behaviour. Very little is genetic, according to the author. Even homosexuality, he says, has a huge "nurture" factor. At first when I read that I was angry. If you say it is nurture rather than nature, that would lead people to conclude that it can be changed. Also in the book he says that many disorders, such as schizophrenia, are greatly affected by our upbringing rather than by our genes. And this is supported by how many schizophrenics do not get better when prescribed drugs, but on the other hand benefit from the right therapy.

I felt that this was a dangerous way for the logic to flow, because those who seek to "cure" homosexuality will believe that it can be cured, since its origin is also "nurture". So I decided to write to the author. I checked online and found his website and his email address. I explained that there are still people around who believe that homosexuality is an illness and that it can be "cured", and these people might make that connection from the way the book is presented. And I was so impressed when he replied by email 10 minutes later. He thanked me for my feedback and said that while there are many traits, such as playfulness, which are shaped by our "nurture", no one would think that they need to be changed. He said that perhaps in the next edition of his book he should explicitly state that though homosexuality is heavily influenced by "nurture", that in no way means that it either can or should be changed. And he thanked me for alerting him to this.

I feel happier now that I know he is not a homophobe. It also makes me realise that I have always had a polarised view of the situation. In my head, there can only be two camps: if you are anti-gay, you believe that gay people were raised wrongly as children, and therefore you would think that reparative therapy works, and that supports your homophobic ideas. On the other hand, if you are pro-gay, you believe that homosexuality has a genetic cause, and you would not expect gay people to be able to change. Now I have a new perspective, that being gay could be environmentally influenced, such as is being artistic, or eloquent, or strong-willed, but that does not mean that you can change it. Saying that homosexuality is caused by "nurture" is not necessarily in itself an anti-gay statement.

Over the course of reading the book, I have developed the details of my new perspective. I have always known that you can't trust all the research you read. But I must have known that purely on a cerebral level, but not absorbed it on a visceral level. When confronted with the statement that "homosexuality is caused by upbringing", it conflicted with ideas that I had held dear for many years. I thought, "But what about all the research that says that homosexuality is inborn?" But as I thought about it more, I could not cite one example of fair unbiased research to support my ideas. Does not mean that there are none, it just means to me that I have not delved deeply enough into the subject to confidently and concretely answer that question. Which made me realise that I probably have been guilty of selectively believing only those facts convenient to me and in synch with my worldview.

So maybe the author is right and homosexuality is not entirely genetic in origin. And as I make that statement, I'm half afraid the gay community will hang me for heresy and treason. But I admit that the cause of homosexuality cannot be pinpointed easily. If you can't trust research, you can't trust books either. So, deviating from nature vs nurture, my third view is: The fact that I'm gay now might be because of genes or might be because of my childhood. But I think one factor that environment has fully controlled is: how I deal with my gayness. To borrow the phrase I read in another article, "genes load the gun but environment pulls the trigger". (The quote was regarding illnesses like obesity and diabetes, hence it sounds morbid.) But maybe it is the same with being gay: the way I was raised has made me aware enough and comfortable enough to realise and accept I am gay. Being born in this modern age also gives me the option to live as a gay person; if I'd been born 2000 years ago instead, I might have had no choice about marrying a man just to survive. And 2000 years ago if the concept of "gay" hadn't come about yet, having gay genes wouldn't make me a gay person, just some man's unsatisfied and unhappy wife.

So let's consider the possibility I might have turned out straight if I had different parents, a different childhood. But even then, so what? At this point in time, I know I'm gay, I can't go back and change the past. So there is only moving forward. The most important thing to remember is that gay people can't change their sexual orientation. Whether it is due to nature or nurture is secondary, being gay can still be viewed as a gift from God, He created our genes but He also chose our parents to be the ones who raised us. So what do we do with this gift, one of the many that God has given us?

On the prosecution of Mr Tan Eng Hong under Section 377A and the challenge to the law’s constitutionality

Written by sayoni on . Posted in Advocacy

People Like Us (PLU)'s official statement :

www.plu.sg

 

On 24 September 2010, Mr M Ravi, a lawyer acting for Mr Tan Eng Hong, initiated a constitutional challenge to Section 377A of the Penal Code. This is the law that makes “gross indecency” between two men a crime in Singapore, punishable with up to two years’ imprisonment.

 

Mr Tan had been charged under Section 377A in connection with an alleged incident of sex in a shopping centre toilet.

 

People Like Us is not a party to this case and the associated constitutional challenge that Mr Ravi initiated. Moreover, as the matter is now before the courts, it is not appropriate for us to make any comments about the specifics of the case.

 

What concerns LGBT voters in Singapore?

Written by jean on . Posted in LGBT News & Politics

LGBT voters

 

Do lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender voters have exactly the same concerns as the general public? Are there concerns that are important to the community, yet are neglected by political parties vying for votes?

A general election is widely expected in Singapore sometime in the next 6 - 12 months. LGBT citizens will have as much a chance to express their wishes through their vote as other citizens.

A cursory glance at various media will indicate that leading issues currently include the economy, housing prices and polices, transport, foreign workers and immigration. These tend to hog the headlines because many people have anxieties or strong views about them.

There is, however, the risk that these issues, because of their wide following, are crowding out the concerns of other sections of the population. There is always the tendency for the non-LGBT majority to universalise their concerns as everybody’s concerns, and to dismiss issues unimportant to them as issues unimportant to everybody. Throughout history, it is a common conceit of the privileged or the majority.

What People Like Us would like to know is to what extent Singaporean LGBT voters share these aforementioned concerns, as well as what other concerns relevant to their lives they might have. What are their priorities going into this election?

We encourage all Singaporean LGBT voters and friends to participate in a survey: What concerns LGBT voters? It’s an online, anonymous survey, to gauge the community’s priorities. It consists of only 10 questions and should take no more than 3 -4 minutes of your time.


The survey will be kept open till at least 10 October 2010.


We recognise that no online poll can be rigourously accurate. Nonetheless, we are hoping that with wide participation, the thrust of the LGBT community’s concerns will be apparent even if the exact figures should be treated with caution.


Results will be publicised on this site and shared with other LGBT and mainstream media, after we have done an analysis.

To go to the survey: Link or http://www.plu.sg/society/

Too many gay plays?

Written by alina on . Posted in Commentary

I heard someone remark, one day, that there "were too many gay plays" during a certain year, perhaps 2007 when Asian Boys Vol. 3 was running. I sought his reasons for saying so, and was satisfied at the time that he posed it as an opinion. But I also stewed over it after the incident.

I wish I had said the following three things to him:

(1) Would he have said the same about a play of another minority group? How would it sound to say, "Oh, there are far too many plays about race now. Having one or two is okay, but it was just too much."

The thing about being a minority group is that we are perpetually underrepresented in popular discourse. We don't have the luxury of being able to pop into a cinema every day and be able to see queer-identifying men and women living lives with their partners, pets and kids. Trying to balance out that ratio and having you squirm just means that you are used to the imbalance, not that it is in the natural or right way to go.

(2) To be fair to those who share his perspective, there may be a disproportionate amount of queer content in theatre compared to mass media meant for public consumption. However, a feature of the medium and of art in general is to push boundaries and to deal with the marginal issues of the day. If being gay were one day considered a normal facet of human life, and if power relations were somehow to equalise, I'm pretty sure it would become a far less interesting topic to depict in theatre. I hope we are moving towards that.

(3) With the presence of so many queer individuals in the theatre scene and the liberal slant of the arts community, it's surprising that there aren't more so-called gay plays around. Not that anyone, gay or straight, is obliged to address the topic in their art. But the stark absence of LGBT characters in plays and films, when they are the very people we know and love in everyday life, may just be reproducing the invisibility people with straight privilege are so used to. It's why I like to be pleasantly surprised by subtextual hints that protagonists have had same-sex attractions in their pasts. These things happen.

BE(e): Believe | Beloved | Beyond

Written by jean on . Posted in Articles

BE(e): Believe / Beloved / Beyond

 

BE(e): Believe | Beloved | Beyond

OC Women, in conjunction with Sayoni, presents a three-part series for queer women/women who love women

BE(e): Believe | Beloved | Beyond
...
The bumblebee was never designed for flight. But miraculously, against all odds it does fly!
Queer women today face many unique challenges in their lives - despite all odds, how do we overcome them and live happy, independent and free? Come and fly with us, and hear from other women. Exchange experiences on how to cope with challenges in our lives, our relationships, and plan for the future.


Believe - Being and Believing in our selves. What are the challenges that women face and how do they fly?

6-9pm, Saturday 14 August (part of Indignation 2010)
Venue: 72-13 Theatreworks at Mohammed Sultan Road
Recommended Donation: $10


Beloved - Being with those you love. Developing meaningful relationships with our partners and significant others in our lives.

6-9 pm, Saturday 9 October
Venue to be confirmed to registered participants
Recommended Donation: $10


Beyond - Building for your future. Financial and legal planning for queer women interested in practical planning for the future.

6-9 pm, Saturday 4 December
Venue to be confirmed to registered participants
Recommended Donation: $10

BE(e) Special. Sign up for all three sessions as a package, for a special rate of $25!
* Register now at http://www.tinyurl.com/beebelieve
* Limited seats available and seats confirmed only when payment received.
* Please email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. if you have any further queries.

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