Articles Tagged ‘coming out - Sayoni’

And i loved a boy

This picture of a girly one, an androgynous one and a squirrel got me laughing. The squirrel seems to hold a wistful or puzzled look. And the couple appears to be asking the furry animal, “Is it wrong for us to be so happy?” You got to know a bit of my history to know why i had barrels of laughter upon seeing this… When i was with my ex-boyfriend, i called him “Squirrel”.

In the aftermath of the break-up, there are many friends, male and female alike, who told me not to “lose hope”… because some boy will come along someday and whisk me off my feet… and he would be Mr. Right… and that I don’t have to “off-guys” just because i had bad experiences. That was their first response when i told them the next person that i am dating is a girl. I was amused by their reactions. Deeply rooted in their unconsciousness: a girl involved with a boy will not fall for another girl, unless she received deeply etched scars from some male bastard. And deeper than this is the notion that: Lesbian relationships are of second class order.

(It is my fault partially. I never quite explained why i gave up the four year plus relationship I had with Squirrel. Let’s just say that when discontent comes, it is multi-layered and multi-faceted… and using someone’s weak points to break-up is merely a reason in disguise. After all, who’s perfect?)

And then there are close friends (and my mother) who exclaimed in bewilderment, “But you have always been straight!” Straight = physically with someone with the opposite sex? What about the mental aspect? I had my first crush on an androgynous-looking girl when i was 14. Why didn’t i tell anyone? Oh well, blame it on homophobic behavior… since i was not involved with any girl at that time, i didn’t see the benefits of taking the risk.


Come Out Come Home, a Sayoni initiative



Every movement starts with the few who step out a little further than the rest, and change happens from there. By coming out and being visible as an LGBTQ person or ally, we encourage others to step out of their closets, too.

COuCH, which stands for Come Out Come Home, is a Sayoni community initiative to encourage and support LGBTQ persons and allies to come out or be more out than they already are. In particular, we hope to reach LGBTQ persons who are or are trying to be ready to come out.

The movement was inspired by studies which have shown that there are many positive effects when LGBTQ persons come out. This is also about celebrating the people – families, friends, and/or peers – who love, accept and support us, and thus encourage us to be out. COuCH aims to empower and provide visibility to the LGBTQ community and our allies. This helps the world understand that we are part of and play many different roles in society.

From 3 August 2013, genuine stories about Singaporeans coming out, as a queer person or ally, will be published and streamed online through a dedicated website ( and its Facebook Page.

As one of Sayoni’s founders, Jean Chong, said at the launch of the movement at Indignation 2013 on Saturday, “We often talk about the need to dialogue with those on the opposing side... But the dialogue needs to start in our homes, with our community, with our friends, and most importantly with ourselves.”

We call on all LGBTQ persons and allies who can come out, wish to come out or feel they are ready to, to participate by sharing your photos and stories, uploading a video, making a pledge with us to come out, or contributing funds to support the initiative. The campaign peaks on 11 Oct, International Coming Out Day, with a special event.



Share, upload, pledge or contribute:


Sayoni's Coming Out Guide: In PDF format / Hard copy format

Coming Out… My Way

This post is by guest writer Ellen the Generous. It is tongue-in-cheek humour that's not intended as coming out advice, but the writer does hope you have a good laugh over it!

I thought I would share my coming out experience with readers, since I successfully came out to my parents. If the following fails, have a good laugh about it and then go get a better coming out guide. There's one by Sayoni.

Step 1
On the day you’ve decided to make the leap, take your parents out for a great dinner.

Step 2
Choose a day when a movie with a gender-bending/gay/lesbian theme is being screened. Take them to it.

Note 1: Ensure that the movie is still being screened. Buy tickets early!

Sayoni's "Airing the Closet" at IndigNation 2012

Sayoni organised a talk show event on coming out at this year's IndigNation, where invited guests Bian, Caryn and Jin spoke on the topic together with Valerie, our host and moderator. The audience were active participants in the show, coming forward with their own stories and sharing a tapestry of different perspectives.

Here are some notable moments from the evening, seen in quotes from the speakers and participants.


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