Coming out is not about lesbians only.
Coming out requires giving others a better understanding of double standards, of the concepts of diversity and the freedom to live in harmony with one another. It is about crossing boundaries… whether racial, religious, gender.. or sexual orientation.
After the forum organized by Sayoni during IndigNation, some people gave this feedback: The coming out stories are too rosy. They cannot identify with it.
Yes, coming out is a long-drawn process. Things don’t change over night…
The thing about people is..
They may understand what you are trying to say at that point in time; they may see the logic behind your stand.
But old habits die hard… and i find myself repeating when they automatically fall back on stereotypical cruel jokes on the queer community.
You see… our mind is filled with schemas. Which are elaborate networks of inter-related information. As people grow up, people group information together. Ideas like “lesbian” and “gay” elicit other ideas like “ephemeral relationships” and “bad”. So, each time we reason with someone, we are modifying the schema. But it is difficult to modify the entire schema at once.
Plenty of people have come up to me and gave me lines like: “You are so lucky that your mother understands.”
Yes, she understands. But no, she does not completely understand.
She understands that love is regardless of gender. She understands that straight relationships do not promise happiness, and that gay unions can provide sweet and loving companionship.
But there are certain mentalities that she holds on to… such as homosexuality is a hot trend. A trend that people can “catch” and precipitate the demise of the human race. And thus, flowing from this line, we should not allow gay people to be open about their sexuality.