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Ooga Chaga Women (Singapore)

Written by snorkeem on . Posted in Coming Out

We are a women's support group for lesbian and bisexual women who meet in a safe space for face to face discussions to share, connect and support one another.
This is a support group for women who seek to come to terms with their sexual identity and who want to achieve a healthy integration of their sexual identity into their lives. The support group sessions aims at developing awareness in the self, relationships, community and resources available.

The OC Women's support group is back for its second run !

What The Sessions Are About

The sessions, like those from the first run is titled 'Finding The Me Within'. The aim of these sessions is for you the participant, to engage in a process of self discovery and understanding through the sharing of views and what you take away from each of your life experience. You will also be listening to what the other women participants have to share. In the sessions, we shall be focussing on each of your experiences in coming out, relationships with partners, family and work. We shall also be touching on how the law affects us and benefits us, sexual health and the different resources and assistance available.

As was intended with the first group, when the 10 sessions are over, you and the other women participants from this group can form an informal support group to continue being a source of support for each other.

What It Takes

Commitment in time, commitment to have an open mind, commitment to play it fully.
For many of you, this will be the first time being in a support group. How much you gain from it correlates directly with how much of yourself you allow to give.


Run 2 starts in June 2006 with 10 sessions carried out on 2 Saturdays each month, starting in June 2006 and finishing in October 2006

Group Size

Strictly no more than 12 women.
If you have what it takes and are interested in joining us, indicate via email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. no later than 20th of May 2006. If you wish to know more about Oogachaga, visit us at

Voices of past participants :

- I have opened my eyes to important issues happening to women that need to be addressed. The experiences and knowledge that I've gained from OC Women are truly inspiring and empowering. I hope many others will get a chance to experience the support and comfort that OC Women has given me.

- OC Women support group has been effective in providing a safe and non-judging environment for its participants to discuss issues of the heart and mind. I discovered that even though each of our lives is unique, the challenges and gifts we face are varied and yet similar. Learning about the life paths and choices of some the participants has been humbling. If you push your limits and play it 100%, the group sessions will more often than not surpass your expectations.

- What has probably proven life-changing for me is the mere act of having participated in these discussions and the various social activities. That was a very practical way of learning to acknowledge my sexuality in the larger context of the life I lead. I feel that I have taken an irrevocable step. It is in some ways like climbing up and out of a cellar and
finding (to one's delight) that the steps leading back down have crumbled to dust; there is no way back down.

- The group became a playground where I could just be my fun-loving self with a group of buddies who, just like me have their own share of hang-ups and idiosyncrasies. It was good to laugh at myself and at one another. The way we united in our diversity was amazing. Sharing one's experiences was good for my spirit and bonded us in friendship.

I just want what everyone else already has

Written by Jin on . Posted in Coming Out


A couple of weekends ago we celebrated my Aunt and Uncle’s silver wedding anniversary. It was a grand affair, 12 tables in a smart ballroom, dress code: Formal. There was a live band playing throughout dinner. A pastor family-friend said grace, and blessed my aunt, uncle and cousin. The emcee for the evening was their old friend who had also been the emcee at their wedding dinner, 25 years ago. 1 lady-friend gave a rendition of love songs, and 1 brother-in-law sang 2 love songs in Chinese! My uncle gave a speech, and my cousin gave a speech too…

There was a cheery buzz in the air. Everyone was celebrating my Aunt and Uncle being married for 25 years. More than that, they were celebrating the principles of love, commitment, and the covenant between two people who chose to spend the rest of their lives together. It was so touching and heartwarming, them being surrounded by all their family and friends honouring their marriage and commitment to each other for the past 25 years.

I sent a sms to my girlfriend asking her “Do you think we will some day celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary too?” And she replied “Of course” And when that day comes, this will be my Wish List. I want us to be celebrating with all our friends and families. Everyone joyous, and not simply acknowledging, but honouring, our silver anniversary. I want people to congratulate us as they arrive for the party. I want them to have marked the date in their diaries months in advance. I want them to put the effort into dressing up, and to ponder what gifts would be most appropriate on such a happy and significant occasion. A Wish List for me, but I merely want what every straight couple is now entitled to.

I do it for you

Written by lublub on . Posted in Coming Out

There we sat, side by side on the stone bench, watching the ‘A’ division softball matches as the sun went down. The breeze was blowing and it wasn’t too hot. And there we were, me and my softball teacher-in-charge, talking about the things that mattered that was closest to our hearts and was our common passion. Softball.

This teacher to me was special. Our relationship was so different from the other teachers that I have in JC. Other teachers were more distant and more of an authorative figure (or a dispenser of education and whom I saw as nothing but a vessel of knowledge from which I could harvest). They were never human to me. In the sense that I couldn’t feel like a person of equal worth in their presence. JC teachers weren’t like university professors whereby students are generally closer to them and are on first-name basis.

We were also quite similar in person, both being ex-captains. Plus, we had to work together to manage the team and thus I felt close to her. Compared to other teachers in JC, I sincerely respected this teacher a lot.

For me personally, I will only come out to those people who are unlikely to accept my homosexuality…if and only if they mattered to me and were important in my life. To me, an act of coming out can be an act of love, because it shows that I cared enough to want to share this secretive part of my life with you. This deeply personal story that could have been conveniently kept under wraps. But no, I do not wish to lie to the people I love. I want them to know me in my entirety. Homosexuality included.


the Ex-Gay auntie!

Written by Jin on . Posted in Coming Out

It was last Thursday. I had tea with my aunt’s ex-gay friend. Actually I had met her once before, so when we met this time, we just started by chatting about things in general. We talked about bars and clubs, because she is a musician and has been playing in nightspots her whole professional life. (This was some hip 47-year-old, OK!)

The conversation was very informal and friendly all the time. Mostly she was just sharing about her past and telling me about her experiences. She was not offensive or patronising or condescending. She didn’t say “If I can change and be straight, you can and must do it too”. I think I was just (as usual) preparing myself for the worst. Having never met anyone who hails from the ex-gay camp (pun intended), I half expected this lady to be a Bible-thumping, verse-spewing, self-righteous, re-virginised prude who would stare down at me from atop her high horse.

But she actually seemed quite normal. Her stand is that though homosexuality is wrong, maybe it is just part of my journey. Maybe it is just a phase that I have to go through to experience something or other. (I’m fine with that. People are allowed to draw whatever conclusions they wish, as long as they are not offensive, or trying to force me to believe what they believe.)

I’m relieved that she did relate to me with respect and I also appreciate that she did not try to force me to want to change. In a way, I am glad that she did take the time to talk to me. Because she was just talking in a normal, non-threatening manner, it did feel like just a friendly relaxed chat. And I was able to be myself, be authentic in my responses to her, and when sharing about myself too.

Where do I go from here?

Written by Jin on . Posted in Coming Out

So today at 5pm I’m supposed to go meet up with my aunt’s ex-gay friend. (How did this happen?)

Yes! I finally came out to my uncle and aunt. This was two Thursdays ago (every time we have dinner at their house it seems to be a Thursday). After dinner, we were still loitering around the dinner table, and I said to my uncle ‘I have something to tell you, I am gay.’

It was something like jumping into a chilly swimming pool on a hot day. You are comfy and warm on the deck chair. Yet you know you want to go into the pool. You know it’s going to be deliciously cold and refreshing once you’re in, but you also know that the transition, the split second that the icy water hits your sun-warmed skin, is going to be a jolt. So you steel your nerves, grit your teeth, take a deep breath and jump in.

And once I had said it, it really was kinda like being underwater; a shiver ran through my body and I was still holding my breath and adjusting to the shock of the transition. And there was silence. A few seconds where everything sounded very distant and dull.

I said to my uncle ‘But you knew that already, didn’t you?’ and he nodded. Finally he started talking again; there were questions, I answered honestly and openly; my aunt needed to fetch a glass of water, her spectacles and her Bible; my sister and cousin sat quietly just giving me moral support; and on the whole it went quite well.

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